Log in

My Life As A Sex Slave [entries|friends|calendar]
Champenstein's monster

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(4 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

muhammad jihad!!! [14 Oct 2006|03:07pm]
[ mood | who and what now? ]

ok so, last night was,.... interesting. i spent the day walking around town getting funny looks (the tutors wanted me to take a bunch of photos of art deco and art nouveau buildings in town)... then went and met john after work where we stumbled to this art exhibition of one of john's friends and it was.... a bit odd....there was a pile of binbags in one corner filled with paper and rubbish , but they had cute faces stuck on them... there was a ladder that was painted half green and half blue...there was a skateboard that had its wheels taken off, then metal legs were stuck on and the wheels were put on the bottom of those so it was like a little table... and one of those bollard things, the big plastic ones they fill with sand to make railings stand up around roadworks... they nicked one and sprayed it bright gold... very odd indeed....

but to carry on, when waiting for a bus home last night, we firstly noticed this drunk old man who was asleep in the bus stop, he had an Only Fools And Horses video in a plastic bag, and he kept opening his eyes then reaching to his right where the bin was, with his hand cupped like he was reaching for a pint... oh yeah and he'd pissed himself. nice big wet patch on his crotch. LOVELY.

but then an old lady turned up and an old man, they'd never met, but they were both a bit drunk and decided to sit and chat.it was bloody cold so john put his wooly hat on my head then pulled my hood up over it as well, and put a scarf on me so i was all wrapped up and only a bit of my face was exposed, and he jokingly called me a muslim...then about 5 minutes later, john heard the old lady saying something about muslims, so he took my hood down and told me he thought we were worrying the old people, then the woman said to the bloke "she DID have one of those things on, he's just taken it off her" so john laughed and turned round and asked her what she was talking about and she was like "im not saying nothing" so john told her im really not a muslim it was a wooly hat, and i said "yeah im not muslim, im a catholic" and the woman was SO weird, she didnt believe me! she was saying "oh well, im not getting involved in this im too old" like that means anything... then me and john were just sitting laughing about it.... they started talking about me being muslim again and john turned round to say somethin to them and the old bloke started saying "look, dont be saying what when shes talking , she was talking to me not you, you jsut deal with your thing and ill deal with mine" and john was saying "i will do" then the guy kept on saying "yes well make sure you do" then john said "i am" and he went "yeah well you better had" and john said... "i AM doing" and it went on like that for about 5 minutes.... so fucking dumb...then john said that he was only asking what the old bag had said because shed said something about me being a muslim and that im not one and the woman said, oh get this... she said "well shes carrying on like one!" WHAT IN THE FUCKITY FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???? how on EARTH was i carrying on like a muslim??? i was just sitting waiting for a bus with a wooly hat on!! freaks!

allah wept...

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

Sausages round the corner... [12 Oct 2006|12:40pm]
[ mood | herfeffeny fefefferfeffer ]

god DAMN it, i'm in the library and it won't let me look at myspace... everytime i log on that thing comes up sayin that there was an error with the internet explorer and it closes the damn window.

ok i know im a moaner, but you know, thats what i do. i moan therefore i am.

i wanna get married... i wish i had loads of money and a proper good job so i could get married...
i also wanna see my friends more, i cant even afford to meet roxanne for lunch after college :o( nothing makes me happy at the moment, i went to college to do something i actually wanted to do with my time instead of being at typetalk all day every day, and i just find myself miserable cos i still have to go back to the stupid deaf land at the weekend, leaving me with only 1 day to myself each week...
i think i should get my arse in gear and work on a comic again, one actually worthy of being published maybe one day...(by SLG hopefully) cos then everything would be sorted, i would have the job i allllways wanted! i'd also like to work on a cartoon, cos there are too many rubbish ones out there and i think i could come up with something less rubbish than Trollz, Ben 10 (with the power of TEN aliens!!!) or that chuffing Winx club thing...lots of poo concepts...

the comic i'm thinkin of doing at the moment is taking shape in my head, its quite cute ^___^ i just hope its cute enough when i find the time to put it down on paper!

must buy some more fineliners in preperation! not that i'll be able to do much in between college stuff...bloody essays on the pre-raphaelites... pfft....

i know you all hate me cos im boring and i moan a lot.

(check ma bad self)

Can i eat my apple, cos i feel sick... [17 Sep 2006|02:30pm]
[ mood | worried ]

college children are seriously distracting... i keep doing the stuff im meant to do but deciding to take it home and finish it cos i cant concentrate with this fucking idiot girl who i want to stab distracting me constantly, seriously, she walks around looking at everyone elses work and doesnt do anything except change her paper and start again every 10 minutes...and talk VERY loudly...

im mega stressed at the moment, we enrolled on wednesday, all the kids just having to hand a sheet in and then they get their card and can bugger off, all very easy, but i had to chuffing pay a £240 fee for the course...twats...since i had no money, not even enough to make an installment i used my credit card, which hurts my brain whenever i do cos i know i'm getting myself into worse and worse debt... the major problem is though, when i called the college initially months ago to ask what the fees would be, i was told cos i only work weekends it would be 200ish, but the full fee for someone working full time would be 1000 which was cool cos i was doin weekends...problem though is they have turned round and said that part time is anything LESS than 16 hours a week... and it appears now im working weekends and its not with kelly services like i used to work, i now get paid for my lunchhour so it would technically be 16 hours rather than 14...meaning they would expect me to pay a grand instead of 200...now im no mathematician but im pretty sure working 16 hours rather than 14 or 15 doesnt make me significantly richer, richer enough to pay another 800 quid... i mean, if i worked 15 and a half hours i would be expected to pay 200 but if i worked just half an hour more a week id have to pay 800 more than that!! its a really fucking stupid unfair system...it stresses me out no end. i think they're gonna call my work and ask them how many hours i work, and then i really will be fucked cos they'll turn around and ask me to cough up the 800 pound i cant afford to give them... *sigh* the vein in my head is throbbing...

plus since i'd just handed over 200 quid 10 seconds before the picture was taken, i now have a student id card with a picture of me looking like someone just shot my mum...

(check ma bad self)

your mom goes to college.. [07 Sep 2006|11:55am]
god am fed up, college is cool and all but it sucks not being able to go on the internet as often.. and for some reason myspace is not letting me in!! it keeps saying im not signed up thats just effing ridiculous!!!

but yeah, some of the people on my course are for want of a better word "fuckholes", there is a girl who shouts things like "oh but i cant even draw..." and "whats crosshatching? dont ask me anything artistical cos i dont know what it means" ARTISTICAL??? how have they let you on a graphic design course you retard!!? i appear to be better than most of them though which makes me feel a lot better about being a few years older than them...

i went to the gallery today where i had to choose 1 painting i like and one i dislike and write down reasons why, which was fun... i wrote about that awesome painting of an empty hamster cage... and what i hate, i just found the most retarded ugly painting i could and wrote about that. it was bad. it was a big scruffy childlike painting of messy triangles in ugly colours and smudges. i hated it on sight.

im so glad not to be working in the stupid typeshite, i have to go on the weekend tho boooo but that wont be as bad cos its 2 days and im free again for another week....drawing is fun.

it appears the time i spent away from the internet has seen people having problems and im confused. i must text ruby in a moment to see if she is ok as i have no idea whats been going on....

everyone ok?? good...good...

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

hmmm my brain is itchy [22 Aug 2006|12:15pm]
okay so i had this odd dream last night that i was walking down my street at 5am after a night out and ruby was sitting on the grass by the main road by my house, and i stopped and asked what she was doing, she said that there was a boy called "mitch" who always comes out at 5am and when he sees her he makes her a cup of tea without her even having to ask for one...so we waited for him, and he came out of a house and walked towards us with his head down and just kept walking, so ruby shouted "wheres my cup of tea???" and he turned round and it was actually Jas Man from Babylon Zoo and he got all pissed off and said "you're so demanding! you women are always demanding things from me!! leave me alone god damn it!!" then he walked off crying and i chased after him cos ruby wanted to ask him out, but when i grabbed his shoulder he shot light out his ears so i left him alone...

well that was the middle of my dream, the rest made no sense even to me, but that was the oddest bit...

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

bloobleblooble [21 Aug 2006|07:51am]

i NEEEEED this on dvd *pout* i have a crap copy that is all fuzzy and lame!! i need it proper. in the bum!

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

[20 Aug 2006|04:53pm]
hmm you know, i think hardly anyone left in work now actually likes me...i mean, they'll talk to me if i'm there and they feel obliged to, but half the time they'd rather steal someone elses seat 2 seats away instead of sitting in an empty seat next to me...i know the ones who are like that all work together at weekends and nights and talk a lot online and stuff so they all like to sit with each other but i kinda get the impression they want me to go away...

i dunno maybe im being paranoid... i think its cos all the people i got on with in work have left or are about to leave...this place is going to be hell when i move onto weekends in september :o( i need to find a less shite place to work weekends at...

but noe thats said, okay this weekend has been rahter dull...nothing has happened much, me and john in bed having rudesex about the only thing thats been good...we were meant to have a bit of a big sad date on friday and eat and go see a movie, but when i went to get out my last 25 pound from the cash machine, it turned out 25 pounds had been debited from my account that day, for something i have no idea of since i havent bought anything for that much in at least a week or 2...but it left me with a balance of NIL...cunts. that left me unable to go anywhere and do things and i refused to let john pay for it, so we sat in doing nothing instead... then saturday john was comin to mine then to toddle to jonathons later on, but due to shitty buses he ended up comin kinda late, i debated whether or not to bother going, due to being completely poor and having to work today... but ruby tried to tempt me and i said id come for a bit, but then my dad insisted he wouldnt give me a lift cos he's "been for a meal and had a couple of drinks" my argument being that he drove home from the restaurant so he has no excuse but he made out that he couldnt cos stockbridge village is full of police and stuff... weak. so we went and waiting for a bus... and waited... and got a bit rained on... and waited. then i got a headache and said "lets just go fuckin home!" so we just went home and went to bed about half an hour after getting there. so that was another uneventful evening...

so all in all im sorry to the people for not coming out to play, it does sound like i missed some fun things, oh well :(

(10 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

okayyyy [17 Aug 2006|10:57am]
[ mood | pyeng! ]

ok i'm not sure about this dumb comic, mostly cos john doesnt like it but POO on him... anyways here's a little pikkur of the 2 main characters, well of their faces, i couldnt be arsed inking any of the pics i've done of their full bodies, mostly cos im using a biro in work to do it!!!!

but here
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

so, i need names for them, they have to be japanese names, preferably something cute and short and befitting 2 sweet little japanese amminals...

someone give me ideas! (not that i'll definitely use peoples ideas, i just need some inspiration... and you people are all smart enough! well most of you)

(check ma bad self)

okely dokely.. [16 Aug 2006|01:44pm]
ok so ive been drawing more today (mostly cos im fooking bored) and i shall post a picture of the 2 main characters for the comic on here later when i get to johns and have access to a scanner!!! but yeah i will be posting to ask you nice people out there to give me a hand with naming them, im crap at that and i need other peoples input because im like some deranged machine who cant be imaginitive enough on its own...

but in the meantime i will put a link to this!


its jamie smart's latest project and its fuckin cool... im so buying tshirts on monday when i get paid... but mostly,. check out the pages for the different characters, they have a little comic each on there and they're dead good.. i especially recommend the angriest robot, and the one about the little doody its a bit silly, but all jamies stuff is!

i love him... he makes me feel vastly inferior and makes me want to scoop my eyes out... then eat them.

but also, heres something that happened on the phone the other day ....

me - "options... blah blah 1, blah blah 2, and blah blah 3...ga "

deafie - " 3 ga"

me - "sorry theres nobody here to take your call please call again later" - call ends itself

deafie - "you wrong i say press 1 ga"

me - "no sorry you told me to press 3, thats why i pressed 3 ga"

deafie - "no you was bed ga"

me - "er what does that mean?? you said press 3 so i pressed 3. ga"

deafie - "dial again. ga"

me - "ok what option do you want me to choose when i redial? 1 or 3? ga"

deafie - "i already said press 2 ga"

me - "what? no you didnt, look what do you want me to press, you said 3, then said no press 1, now you are telling me to press 2! ga"

deafie - "i not argue you ok. just redial now. press 2 ga"

me - "fine!"

.... it turns out he was wrong. it was option 3 that he needed in the end. fucking retards all of them, i swear.

well thats enough. back to retardtalk. laters!

(5 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

[15 Aug 2006|10:51am]
i'm fed up... i hate this stupid job!!! i've asked for about 8 holidays off in total this month, odd days here and there where i wanted to do something else, or not have to work 3-11 shifts, and every single day i have asked for has been denied. one day i actually NEED off as i need to go to college on that day to do some retarded test things... they really dont give 2 shits about anyone in this place, unless you're 60 years old and have been working here since the place opened, then they bend over backwards for you and give you all the time off you want, dont care if you're late, and dont bitch at you and threaten you with warnings just for talking to people on calls and other ridiculous things that i get told off for on a daily basis...
hannah quit the other day, in a straight out "yeah, BYE" kinda way, just walked out... which is a bad idea, but at this very moment, having been threatened for being late twice because of shitty traffic, and having just had MORE holidays denied, i really am on the verge of a nervous breakdown in here... i think i might just scream... i can feel in in my chest, i want to just go up to the team leaders desk and scream "FUCK THIS STUPID CUNTING JOB IN ITS DIRTY WRINKLY ARSEHOLE! I FUCKING HATE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU TWATS!!... AND I HATE HATE HATE DEAF PEOPLE!!!!"

i'm really unhappy...

BUT on a lighter note, ive been working on my comic, true its not going to be as stupid as i made out in that post the other day, but the characters are looking cute... dunno what the deal is gonna be with them, maybe i'll make them both deaf and fucking stupid.

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

hmm strange ideas... [10 Aug 2006|02:49pm]
[ mood | mE LiKeY dRaWeY ]

ok, so i'm thinkin i have to start drawing again, working on a new comic might be good for my retarded brain i think, and i have this stupid idea (mostly from too much anime and nintendogs)....okay here's the stupid idea...im thinkin of a comic with a shiba inu (the cutest little dog in the world) who can talk, and is also telekinetic but in a scary way like in akira...and he lives in an apartment in a big city with a tanuki with OCD who has to live as a human and works at some menial day job...

er i got that in my head yesterday when i was working lates. thats how much attention i need to pay in work. i can just think my slightly dumb thoughts to myself and nobody bothers me...

anyway i think it would be cute. i shall work on this tonight again whilst i am here in this fuckhole building til 11pm...

(check ma bad self)

[09 Jul 2006|04:38pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

im in work til 11pm and its a fucking sunday. this isn't at all fair.

anyway its my birthday in 4 days! woo! birthday! party! well no party, but i will most likely be going for some drinkies... drinking is good. not anythin big, just a handful of creatures having some alcohol somewhere nice and not too full of scallies hopefully...
not that ive actually made plans yet or anything...or invited anyone, but hey, ive got a few days!

shit, back to work now. this place should be shut down for slave labour, honestly.

(1 useless meff | check ma bad self)

boring updatey thing [25 Jun 2006|04:51pm]
[ mood | knackerededed ]

so yeah, i applied to do a btec in graphic design and i went and had the interveiw and so on and so forth and i have a place, which i have to send a little slip thing through the post to accept the place, but i'm kinda finding myself having doubts, mostly cos i'm only just starting to get a nice amount of wage per month, enough to make me grin and think about allll the fun things i can buy... and if i go to college i have to change onto weekends at work, which sucks cos aside from the fact i'll be working every weekend, i will also only be doin 16 hours a week which is weak... i'd have to do overtime as much as possible to try and make up the rest of the monies or i wont even be able to afford to make my £100 loan payments each month...the only other option shitty work give is to just do 5 hour shifts from 6pm til 11pm 5 days a week, which is more money, but i cant get home from town at 11pm cos theres no buses that late to mine and my dad will not pick me up at 11pm every week for 10 months...also i would never see anyone, ever...it would be college, then 2 hours to myself, then work til 11pm, home for a sleep then same tomorrow... thats not really fun at all...

i'm in work now and i'm still hungover from last night out with ruby and company ^__^ it was fun, but i now feel bad and i am eating wotsits and i am here til 10 tonight...boo hoo...

i own you all!


(5 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

For Those Of You Who Are Unaware Of My Job [05 May 2006|07:55am]
[ mood | amused ]

"Good Day My Fine Fellow, Does One Have A Familiarity With The Workings Of A Little Known Service Named Type Talk?... Well It All Started In The Year Of Our Lord 1990...When A Man Name Mr T J Typetalk Developed A Machine Which, By Harnessing The Power Of The Dark Crystal, Makes It Possible For People With No Ability To Hear To Communicate With People All Over The Country...Of Course There Is Now A Device Called 'The Internet', Which Would Make This Whole Thing A Lot Quicker, If Only They Could Grasp The Concept It Would Save Me All This Effort And I Could Go Drink A Cup Of Tea and Have A Biscuit...But As We All Know, The Internet Is Only Available To The Royal Family And 3 Members Of The House Of Commons At The Moment, So Hopefully One Day Far In The Future They Will Develop A New More Affordable Source Of Power, Since At The Moment The Sheer Expense Of Using Said Internet Is Based On The Problem That It Runs On The Beatles, And There's Only Half Of Them Left Now....I'm Sure They'll Run Out Eventually And They'll Have To Move Onto Another Aged Rock Band... Maybe The Rolling Stones, Or Aerosmith... Meatloaf Could Probably Run It At A Much Faster Speed Too, Since At The Moment Download Speed Is About 1 Cilitbang Per 3 Seconds Spent On The Internet...Oh Sorry I Completely Forgot About The Deaf Person... I'll Forget My Own Pipe In A Moment... ok They're Just Starting To Type... OK... They Say...'Is Karl, Go Ahead'...."

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

creation!!! boo! [11 Apr 2006|03:26pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

i started drawing my comic again yesterday! for the first time in ages i actually made an effort... its been completely changed apart from the main character,only cos i got so used to drawing him really, god i want to draw things and make money from it, its no fair really.

oh well.

so yeah, someone gimme some good names for some of the bully characters in it, theres a few boys and a few girls, they may be recurring at some point but this is the first ever one so i dunno, i havent put any proper words to the sketched few pages ive done so far, so gimme some names and i might use em...might not but it might give me something to think about!

sooo.... GO!

(3 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

[23 Mar 2006|06:08pm]
[ mood | someone touched my bumhole ]

hawhaw i was asking for half of today off all week so i could go hang out with ruby and chris for a bit and the shite team leaders kept saying "no leave" and not even looking! but then MY team leader Jim came in today and got me my leave like THAT *snaps fingers* oh joy!... i wanted to be off earler but oh well getting off at 7pm is ok, at least i can go drinkies with them for a bit before i go home and collapse in my bed.

i just ate a thorntons chocolate that claimed to be in a collection of summer flavours... it had peach shnapps flavoured mousse in it... now i dont know about you but when i think of summer i think of bees and daisies. thats the flavour they should make if they want to be realistic! "a child with ice cream on its eyebrows" flavour, or "chlorine in your hair" flavour...i dont even SEE peaches in the summer let alone alcoholic ones. they have a very idealistic veiw of the british summertime i must say, they think its all fresh strawberries and champagne, when really to my memory its more like melted Zap lollies, uncomfortable sweaty armpits and being chased down the street by a wasp.

sorry about that i went into a bit of a rant about things being crap... i shall stop now for i am aware i am not...very...funny...

ta ra for now chuck.

(2 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

back from bonnie wee scotland. [21 Mar 2006|01:43pm]
[ mood | blegh ]

hey everybody!

im here woo and i have presents for all! well for some...just my closest and dearest really...

glasgow is a nice place, people are good, and polite, and there is the most awesome road that goes on forever and its filled with shops, bars and restaurants, its perfic! £1.25 for vodka and coke, thank you sir!

one thing that pissed me off though is they have buses where you need the exact change to get on and you put it in a little slot, theres no way to get change or anything cos the driver is behind a big bulletproof screen, which i find quite unfriendly...plus i forgot about that and then had to get on the bus with too little change on me, but he let me stay on cos im a stupid tourist.

food was good, cocktails were good, bars were good, shopping was good. atmosphere between us 3 not so good...

i dont really wanna go on holiday with roxanne again, she kept getting mad at me, im a moaner by nature, but she got really angry every time i sounded even slightly pessimistic! ech, well...

went to a cinema called Cineworld which was HUGE it had about 6 floors, with big escalators and they had real slush puppies!!! i was uber chuffed... we went to see chicken little which was totally adorable, and its dead cute cos they have these little booster seats that fit over the cinema seats for if your kids are small and cant see the screen, its sweet! ^__^

we went to a bagpipe museum, you wear a headset and when you turn to llook at different types of bagpipes, different music comes on in your ears, its like radio waves so it automatically changes when you spin around, as you can guess i spent 10 minutes turning round quickly to make the music go funny heee... we liked that place it was silly!

but now i'm back home and have to get to work in 5 minutes SHIT IT. laters.

peace out

(check ma bad self)

[15 Mar 2006|04:58pm]
[ mood | wheeeeee ]

i'm going to miss people when i'm in scotland by the way!

especially YOU *MWAH*



(7 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

oh pooh on it [02 Mar 2006|02:30pm]
i dunno whats wrong with me lately, im not the happy bouncing clown i once was, just the last 2 weeks have seen me being totally down, moping, sighing, stressing out, and not being very affectionate towards john at all...

i dont even know why either, as we were happier than ever around our anniversary the other week and now we just look like some miserable married couple who are fed up of it all... ive lost interest in sex lately, and dont even want kisses and hugs much...he hasnt even done anything so i just feel really evil cos he doesnt deserve to be treated shitty.

am feeling really melancholic and wanna sleep all the time, am doing my usual *be happy in work and try and be jolly around hannah* stuff but its not easy to keep up, i dont like moping in work cos i usually am able to remain pretty normal in public even if i'm really unhappy about something...i'm the cold indifferent one, hannah is the emotional one, always been that way. hence why everyone thinks im heartless or mean to her all the time... really i just tell her the truth and only show one emotion when dealing with her situations lately, anger. its getting hard not freaking out in work now with all this odd emotional misery i suddenly have though, i just wanna sigh and bang my head against the computer screen.

going now to talk to more deaf people who accuse their doctors of killing thier husband a few years ago...


(7 useless meffs | check ma bad self)

[01 Mar 2006|02:12pm]
[ mood | alright i suppose ]

sooo children, again its been some time, but then not much happens to me these days...

went to chris's birthday night ut thingie where he didnt drink as per usual, and everyone else did... took a bunch of not so great photos that i cant pu on here cos my home computer has died there is noooo internet. so cant put em on here, which is also a shame as i have about 80 photos from the Mighty Boosh live that are reaaaaally coool and i wanna put them on the internet so i can go "lookit how close i was!!!!"

that was the best thing ever... but happily, and rather greedily, ruby has again bought us all tickets to go watch it again when they come back here in april! so... yeah am a bit obsessed with them at the moment, want to meeeeet them next time. want to snuggle Julian barrett!

i got a mug. it was good.

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]